it is so difficult, ever since i became a mother, to see or hear about any child in any kind of pain. i didn't understand what it's like to see a child suffer, until i had a child of my own, because i just didn't know how a child is loved until i did it myself.
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Friday, 27 May 2011
Monday, 18 January 2010
welcome to motherhood!
a surprisingly early delivery later, i'm suddenly the mother of a tiny baby boy! overwhelming, to say the least. sure, we had nine months to get used to the idea. theoretically. actually, we hadn't a clue! parenthood takes you by surprise. suddenly there's this tiny, precious person who depends on you for everything, whose one smile can make your day, whose every move you watch with jealous, anxious care and whose least discomfort can bring tears to your eyes and drive you in desperate frenzy to demand that a bemused pediatrician "do something!" hehe. in a cynical world where we love nobody as well as we love ourselves, motherhood teaches you things about yourself you didn't know or expect. much as you would like to be objective about this new person, brace yourself for future harsh words or pain, it's impossible to resist. and what's more, you don't want to! i surrender to you, little one! :)
Sunday, 6 September 2009
section 377: homosexuality - the new sin?
the famous section 377 of the Indian Penal Code was much in news recently when a Delhi High Court division bench took matters into its hands and re-interpreted a century-old law. kudos! not so heartening was the reaction of the people, as reported.
i'm not even going to get into the debate about whether or not homosexuality is morally or ethically "right", because i feel there can be no meeting ground between people who think it's a perversion of nature and those who believe it's as natural as heterosexuality and deserves the same respect.
what i want to talk about today is the legal position. it is quite obvious to any homosexual person that gay marriage is not permitted in India. heck, it's still amazing that inter-religious marriage is allowed! but until recently, homosexuality was actually a crime under the Indian Penal Code, punishable by imprisonment for life or ten years and a fine!
this is how the section reads:
"377. Unnatural offences: Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal, shall be punished with imprisonment for life, or with imprisonment of either description for term which may extend to ten years, and shall also be liable to fine. Explanation: Penetration is sufficient to constitute the carnal intercourse necessary to the offense described in this section."
a simple reading throws up the following observations:
the judgement, though laudable, can only do so much. firstly, it is only binding on district courts and any smaller bench of the Delhi High Court. to become the law of the land, it needs to be ratified either by the Supreme Court in the form of a judgement, or by the legislature in the form of an amendment of the act itself. secondly, it does not legalize gay marriage. it only decriminalizes homosexuality. it's a step, but a small step. the court appeals to the legislature to come up with a comprehensive law to deal with the issue, as clearly a judgement on section 377 cannot talk about gay marriage. the legislature, however, seems to be content with this limited re-interpretation by the judiciary, and does not seem to have yet formulated any clear policies, let alone any bills, on the matter. gay marriage remains a vexed issue.
well, that's all i had to say about that. it seems to me that society is very unfair to homosexuals, treating it as an offence against nature and a perversion as heinous as sex with a child or an animal. from what i can see, it takes abnormal courage to go against all established norms and take the path less traveled. it's confusing enough to try and figure out your sexual orientation when every societal and parental force is pushing you in one direction, and on top of that to be treated as if there were any choice in the matter is just absurd! it may be a choice for some people, but for many it is just who they were born to be, and to be punished and shunned by society for something that may just be genetic is criminal!!! after all, it's not a teenage rebellion aimed at hurting authority figures, it's a life-altering, painful, difficult decision to make, and deserves all our support! society waxes so eloquent on love - love is blind, love cannot be controlled, predicted or decided, "pyaar kiya nahi jaata ho jaata hai" etc etc. then why can't it see that when a girl falls in love with a girl or a boy with a boy, they are equally helpless in the matter? it's not just a physical act!
i agree, i haven't had to deal with this decision personally, or in any close family member, so maybe i don't know how the parents feel. but seriously parents, get over yourselves and see what your child is going through! i pray that if my time comes, god gives me the strength and vision to be able to support my child through such tough times!
i'm not even going to get into the debate about whether or not homosexuality is morally or ethically "right", because i feel there can be no meeting ground between people who think it's a perversion of nature and those who believe it's as natural as heterosexuality and deserves the same respect.
what i want to talk about today is the legal position. it is quite obvious to any homosexual person that gay marriage is not permitted in India. heck, it's still amazing that inter-religious marriage is allowed! but until recently, homosexuality was actually a crime under the Indian Penal Code, punishable by imprisonment for life or ten years and a fine!
this is how the section reads:
"377. Unnatural offences: Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal, shall be punished with imprisonment for life, or with imprisonment of either description for term which may extend to ten years, and shall also be liable to fine. Explanation: Penetration is sufficient to constitute the carnal intercourse necessary to the offense described in this section."
a simple reading throws up the following observations:
- this section can only be used against men i.e. lesbianism is not targeted as there is no penetration involved.
- the section does not reveal its intention or the acts it means to prohibit, but in fact uses the very vague wording "against the order of nature". in my view, the section was intended against the biblical sins of sodomy and bestiality, not homosexuality at all. no prohibition of homosexuality would have targeted only male homosexuality and ignored the female, no matter how unacknowledged and under the covers (hehe) such acts may be in society.
- the punishment is severe indeed for what is essentially a private act.
the judgement, though laudable, can only do so much. firstly, it is only binding on district courts and any smaller bench of the Delhi High Court. to become the law of the land, it needs to be ratified either by the Supreme Court in the form of a judgement, or by the legislature in the form of an amendment of the act itself. secondly, it does not legalize gay marriage. it only decriminalizes homosexuality. it's a step, but a small step. the court appeals to the legislature to come up with a comprehensive law to deal with the issue, as clearly a judgement on section 377 cannot talk about gay marriage. the legislature, however, seems to be content with this limited re-interpretation by the judiciary, and does not seem to have yet formulated any clear policies, let alone any bills, on the matter. gay marriage remains a vexed issue.
well, that's all i had to say about that. it seems to me that society is very unfair to homosexuals, treating it as an offence against nature and a perversion as heinous as sex with a child or an animal. from what i can see, it takes abnormal courage to go against all established norms and take the path less traveled. it's confusing enough to try and figure out your sexual orientation when every societal and parental force is pushing you in one direction, and on top of that to be treated as if there were any choice in the matter is just absurd! it may be a choice for some people, but for many it is just who they were born to be, and to be punished and shunned by society for something that may just be genetic is criminal!!! after all, it's not a teenage rebellion aimed at hurting authority figures, it's a life-altering, painful, difficult decision to make, and deserves all our support! society waxes so eloquent on love - love is blind, love cannot be controlled, predicted or decided, "pyaar kiya nahi jaata ho jaata hai" etc etc. then why can't it see that when a girl falls in love with a girl or a boy with a boy, they are equally helpless in the matter? it's not just a physical act!
i agree, i haven't had to deal with this decision personally, or in any close family member, so maybe i don't know how the parents feel. but seriously parents, get over yourselves and see what your child is going through! i pray that if my time comes, god gives me the strength and vision to be able to support my child through such tough times!
Wednesday, 30 January 2008
i will...
"who knows how long i've loved you
d'you know i love you still
will i wait a lonely lifetime
if you want me to, i will...
love you forever and forever
love you with all my heart
love you whenever we're together
love you when we're apart
and when at last i find you
your song will fill the air
sing it loud so i can hear you
make it easy to be near you
for the things you do endear you/ to me
oh/ you know/ i will"
a friend of mine once said that when she fell in love with the perfect guy, she wished this song would play in the background when he proposed! and i thought that was the most romantic idea i'd ever heard! well, that was school and we were romantic back then... when he did propose to me, there was no music, no wine, no dancing, no wining or dining, even no ring! he did get down on one knee though (heehee, so sweet!) and sheepishly said those 4 words - will you marry me - and i giggled and said yes, and then i dropped him off at the railway station and came back home to an empty room... that's life! life doesn't always come with frills, but it has its way of filling you with soul-happiness! and then, even if this song doesn't actually fill the air, you can still hear it!!! and mean it!!!!!!
d'you know i love you still
will i wait a lonely lifetime
if you want me to, i will...
love you forever and forever
love you with all my heart
love you whenever we're together
love you when we're apart
and when at last i find you
your song will fill the air
sing it loud so i can hear you
make it easy to be near you
for the things you do endear you/ to me
oh/ you know/ i will"
a friend of mine once said that when she fell in love with the perfect guy, she wished this song would play in the background when he proposed! and i thought that was the most romantic idea i'd ever heard! well, that was school and we were romantic back then... when he did propose to me, there was no music, no wine, no dancing, no wining or dining, even no ring! he did get down on one knee though (heehee, so sweet!) and sheepishly said those 4 words - will you marry me - and i giggled and said yes, and then i dropped him off at the railway station and came back home to an empty room... that's life! life doesn't always come with frills, but it has its way of filling you with soul-happiness! and then, even if this song doesn't actually fill the air, you can still hear it!!! and mean it!!!!!!
Monday, 14 January 2008
Einstein spoke, and it was so...
One of the smartest men in the history of mankind spoke thus:
"How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he sometimes thinks he senses it. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people -- first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy. A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving..." - Albert Einstein
Why are we on this earth? Why do we have no clue if we have a purpose or a destiny to fulfil? We can believe whatever we choose to believe, make of this life whatever we wish, and die not knowing any better than what we were born with - is there a larger purpose to our existence? I suppose in a way life is an end in itself - experience makes it worthwhile. Fall in love, have kids, walk the magical path of sensual exploration. And then die??? Ashes to ashes, dust to dust??? It's like training a resource for months and, just when he's fully trained and ready to work, firing him! I guess that's why we like to believe in our immortal souls, to convince ourselves that our actions have some larger, eternal significance.
Perhaps the idea is that one particular individual is not significant, but the work of mankind adds up over the centuries and results in progress. So many great scientific minds have expressed gratitude for the shoulders of the giants they stand upon every time they switch on a lightbulb! Yes, that is true - if it weren't for men far more gifted than I who have gone before me, my life would not be what it is today. I take it for granted, shrug my shoulders, and pass on my two bits to the next generation, but if you think for a bit, you are benefitting from other men's genius without having done anything to deserve it! Are we really just bricks in the wall, who slowly fall in place so that other bricks may lay on us? Then why do we have ego, self-consciousness, self-love? It seems like such a wasteful and redundant emotion in such a marvellously cost-effective world!
Perhaps it is as Einstein says - we can get glimpses of true purpose in a smile on a beloved face. We do our best according to our lights, and that's all there is to it. Perhaps it doesn't mean much to the universe, but the way we're constructed, if we've got love in our hearts and a song on our lips, it's pretty much all we asked for! :)
"How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he sometimes thinks he senses it. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people -- first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy. A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving..." - Albert Einstein
Why are we on this earth? Why do we have no clue if we have a purpose or a destiny to fulfil? We can believe whatever we choose to believe, make of this life whatever we wish, and die not knowing any better than what we were born with - is there a larger purpose to our existence? I suppose in a way life is an end in itself - experience makes it worthwhile. Fall in love, have kids, walk the magical path of sensual exploration. And then die??? Ashes to ashes, dust to dust??? It's like training a resource for months and, just when he's fully trained and ready to work, firing him! I guess that's why we like to believe in our immortal souls, to convince ourselves that our actions have some larger, eternal significance.
Perhaps the idea is that one particular individual is not significant, but the work of mankind adds up over the centuries and results in progress. So many great scientific minds have expressed gratitude for the shoulders of the giants they stand upon every time they switch on a lightbulb! Yes, that is true - if it weren't for men far more gifted than I who have gone before me, my life would not be what it is today. I take it for granted, shrug my shoulders, and pass on my two bits to the next generation, but if you think for a bit, you are benefitting from other men's genius without having done anything to deserve it! Are we really just bricks in the wall, who slowly fall in place so that other bricks may lay on us? Then why do we have ego, self-consciousness, self-love? It seems like such a wasteful and redundant emotion in such a marvellously cost-effective world!
Perhaps it is as Einstein says - we can get glimpses of true purpose in a smile on a beloved face. We do our best according to our lights, and that's all there is to it. Perhaps it doesn't mean much to the universe, but the way we're constructed, if we've got love in our hearts and a song on our lips, it's pretty much all we asked for! :)
Thursday, 6 December 2007
vague unrest
there really should be more fonts to write with without having to know HTML! how on earth do i use bradley hand ITC, for instance? that's what i wanna use to say what i wanna say!
so many people are doing so many good things with their lives. real, useful lives. i chose to give up my job and follow my husband to norway on the principle that it's impossible for two people in today's world to remain together and still have perfect, A-class careers. i don't mistrust that decision - being with the man i love is my number one priority and when there are such choices to be made, it's all a matter of priorities. but i'm used to working all the time, and this empty time on my hand just hangs... so heavily! there's a vague unrest in my gut all the time because i'm used to being out there, doing it, and not just sitting at home spending each day in a sort of daze, trying to be a good wife by urging myself to cook but failing to motivate myself to get up, and then feeling guilty about it all.
it's easy to say, get out there and do it! fact is, it's tough to get back on track once u've derailed a lil bit. i know i could be out there discovering this beautiful new city, going to museums, going for walks, doing SOMETHING! but fact is, it's sub-zero out there, and man i feel cold! :) so i just huddle in front of a telly all day and feel like jumping on the sofa by the time it's evening, i've got so much pent-up energy in me which doesn't wanna get spent on household chores.
i can't be like the other indian wives here, who seem to be so content in helping their mates to save the maximum amount of money by never spending a dime on looking pretty or having a good time, cooking every meal at home and dutifully folding up their desires into small lace napkins waiting to be unwrapped and lived when back home in india. i want to live now!!! but a part of me also wants to save some money so we can have a better life when we get home, which was kinda the whole point why we came out here in the first place. that, and seeing europe!
resolve for the day: nice, long walk tomorrow! donno how i'll manage with dryer duty - stupid dryer that needs to be reset every 20 minutes, or it keeps incessantly beeping, and u have to sit on its head for nearly 3-4 hours to get all the clothes done, one day in every week. ridiculous to imagine that this is supposed to be a labour-saving device, and yet it ties me down more effectively than a wood stove would have done!!! when i have enough money, i'll have a machine that does the washing AND the drying, quietly, without complaining, and then sits quietly with the clothes till i'm ready to come back home and take 'em out. when i have enough money...
is there any such thing? enough money, i mean? there's never enough, is there? today it's just me and my hubby and we run short of all our dreams, guess what it'll be tomorrow with lil kids and all their bills to be paid!!! fact is, it's a consumer market, there are more things out there than you will ever be able to buy or even need, and there will always be something fabulously beautiful that you'll burn your heart over not being able to buy! that's what the world economy survives on!!! more than enough for every man's greed, but where's the money?
are you free because you read books on people working in the gulf war, set "free as a bird" as your mobile phone ring tone, write blogs when you feel restless and spend your days hoping to achieve your goals tomorrow? always tomorrow...
tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life... what does that mean??????? it's the stupidest thing i ever heard. is that supposed to motivate me? is that the flag-bearer of a new and rosy dawn? grrrr!
"blackbirds singing in the dead of night... take these broken wings and learn to fly! all your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arrive! ... you were only waiting for this moment to be free!" the beatles gave me soul-words.
so many people are doing so many good things with their lives. real, useful lives. i chose to give up my job and follow my husband to norway on the principle that it's impossible for two people in today's world to remain together and still have perfect, A-class careers. i don't mistrust that decision - being with the man i love is my number one priority and when there are such choices to be made, it's all a matter of priorities. but i'm used to working all the time, and this empty time on my hand just hangs... so heavily! there's a vague unrest in my gut all the time because i'm used to being out there, doing it, and not just sitting at home spending each day in a sort of daze, trying to be a good wife by urging myself to cook but failing to motivate myself to get up, and then feeling guilty about it all.
it's easy to say, get out there and do it! fact is, it's tough to get back on track once u've derailed a lil bit. i know i could be out there discovering this beautiful new city, going to museums, going for walks, doing SOMETHING! but fact is, it's sub-zero out there, and man i feel cold! :) so i just huddle in front of a telly all day and feel like jumping on the sofa by the time it's evening, i've got so much pent-up energy in me which doesn't wanna get spent on household chores.
i can't be like the other indian wives here, who seem to be so content in helping their mates to save the maximum amount of money by never spending a dime on looking pretty or having a good time, cooking every meal at home and dutifully folding up their desires into small lace napkins waiting to be unwrapped and lived when back home in india. i want to live now!!! but a part of me also wants to save some money so we can have a better life when we get home, which was kinda the whole point why we came out here in the first place. that, and seeing europe!
resolve for the day: nice, long walk tomorrow! donno how i'll manage with dryer duty - stupid dryer that needs to be reset every 20 minutes, or it keeps incessantly beeping, and u have to sit on its head for nearly 3-4 hours to get all the clothes done, one day in every week. ridiculous to imagine that this is supposed to be a labour-saving device, and yet it ties me down more effectively than a wood stove would have done!!! when i have enough money, i'll have a machine that does the washing AND the drying, quietly, without complaining, and then sits quietly with the clothes till i'm ready to come back home and take 'em out. when i have enough money...
is there any such thing? enough money, i mean? there's never enough, is there? today it's just me and my hubby and we run short of all our dreams, guess what it'll be tomorrow with lil kids and all their bills to be paid!!! fact is, it's a consumer market, there are more things out there than you will ever be able to buy or even need, and there will always be something fabulously beautiful that you'll burn your heart over not being able to buy! that's what the world economy survives on!!! more than enough for every man's greed, but where's the money?
are you free because you read books on people working in the gulf war, set "free as a bird" as your mobile phone ring tone, write blogs when you feel restless and spend your days hoping to achieve your goals tomorrow? always tomorrow...
tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life... what does that mean??????? it's the stupidest thing i ever heard. is that supposed to motivate me? is that the flag-bearer of a new and rosy dawn? grrrr!
"blackbirds singing in the dead of night... take these broken wings and learn to fly! all your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arrive! ... you were only waiting for this moment to be free!" the beatles gave me soul-words.
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