all the world's a stage

sometimes the world seems like such a cruel place to live in. people committing mindless petty acts of bitchiness for no rhyme or reason, or maybe just cheap thrills. of course one wants to say one is completely innocent of all such acts and the bewildered victim, but obviously the thing that hurts the most is that one finds these flaws within oneself too. it is easy to forget what the world does, but v hard to forgive and forget oneself. they say women over-analyze every detail of what happens in their lives. i wish we weren't built that way. really, i wish we had some control over what we could be, like going to a computer store and selecting harmonious components to build a good system. right now it seems everything is being bunged in just hotch-potch, reaching out for the first thing on the shelf, so that we're ending up with completely unbalanced people without any emotional stability (i.e. me). i don't think sitting at home agrees with me. too much time. i need to be overworked to be happy. sigh, always wanting what is not...

epiphany

sometimes a thought hits you like the headlight of a train. sometimes it's a person. a person so out of the ordinary that you find it hard to believe that they exist. a person you worship, almost. doesn't mean they got an easy life - far from it. being extraordinary doesn't make you any friends in this world. but you feel humbled knowing that you know they exist. i knew a girl like that once.



we need heroes! is that why we created god?



it's awful to hero-worship. u're setting urself up for a fall. it's impossible to make anybody into a hero without ignoring all their faults, and when they become so apparent that u can't close ur eyes anymore, baraboom, there falls the edifice. that's why it's safe to believe in god, because there's no visible flaws that will manifest themselves. unless u start believing ur life is ordained by god, and then blaming god for all ur problems. then u've got back to square one, basically.