And on the millionth day, God said, Thou shalt not write

“It was a dark, stormy night”, wrote Snoopy. I might as well begin with that. There is no way to know how to begin a book. You may have an idea, or no idea, or just want to try your hand at this writing thing everyone keeps talking about, but there’s really no way of knowing how to begin. I can imagine myself going on famously, but the crucial thing is, what about? I have lived a moderately eventful life in a moderately uneventful way, and what is there to write about in that? I may have opinions on everything under the sun, but did I ever pack my bags and shoot off to play a part in the Gulf War? No! Most emphatically not! I am a product of my education and upbringing, and would not consider any options that are not financially viable. So how does such a person with limited experience start to write a book that enthralls millions as they nod their heads in smiling, excited euphoria of shared understanding? Well, even if it fails to do that, at least a book that its writer is able to read with interest and without cringing! How do people do it? My mind is too literal to allow me to read into the daily occurrences of my existence a mystical aura or larger-than-life significance, and to be able to convert it into poetic, elegant prose. And yet I can connect word to word as well as the next guy. Is it really a divine power?

biji!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

vague unrest

there really should be more fonts to write with without having to know HTML! how on earth do i use bradley hand ITC, for instance? that's what i wanna use to say what i wanna say!
so many people are doing so many good things with their lives. real, useful lives. i chose to give up my job and follow my husband to norway on the principle that it's impossible for two people in today's world to remain together and still have perfect, A-class careers. i don't mistrust that decision - being with the man i love is my number one priority and when there are such choices to be made, it's all a matter of priorities. but i'm used to working all the time, and this empty time on my hand just hangs... so heavily! there's a vague unrest in my gut all the time because i'm used to being out there, doing it, and not just sitting at home spending each day in a sort of daze, trying to be a good wife by urging myself to cook but failing to motivate myself to get up, and then feeling guilty about it all.
it's easy to say, get out there and do it! fact is, it's tough to get back on track once u've derailed a lil bit. i know i could be out there discovering this beautiful new city, going to museums, going for walks, doing SOMETHING! but fact is, it's sub-zero out there, and man i feel cold! :) so i just huddle in front of a telly all day and feel like jumping on the sofa by the time it's evening, i've got so much pent-up energy in me which doesn't wanna get spent on household chores.
i can't be like the other indian wives here, who seem to be so content in helping their mates to save the maximum amount of money by never spending a dime on looking pretty or having a good time, cooking every meal at home and dutifully folding up their desires into small lace napkins waiting to be unwrapped and lived when back home in india. i want to live now!!! but a part of me also wants to save some money so we can have a better life when we get home, which was kinda the whole point why we came out here in the first place. that, and seeing europe!
resolve for the day: nice, long walk tomorrow! donno how i'll manage with dryer duty - stupid dryer that needs to be reset every 20 minutes, or it keeps incessantly beeping, and u have to sit on its head for nearly 3-4 hours to get all the clothes done, one day in every week. ridiculous to imagine that this is supposed to be a labour-saving device, and yet it ties me down more effectively than a wood stove would have done!!! when i have enough money, i'll have a machine that does the washing AND the drying, quietly, without complaining, and then sits quietly with the clothes till i'm ready to come back home and take 'em out. when i have enough money...
is there any such thing? enough money, i mean? there's never enough, is there? today it's just me and my hubby and we run short of all our dreams, guess what it'll be tomorrow with lil kids and all their bills to be paid!!! fact is, it's a consumer market, there are more things out there than you will ever be able to buy or even need, and there will always be something fabulously beautiful that you'll burn your heart over not being able to buy! that's what the world economy survives on!!! more than enough for every man's greed, but where's the money?
are you free because you read books on people working in the gulf war, set "free as a bird" as your mobile phone ring tone, write blogs when you feel restless and spend your days hoping to achieve your goals tomorrow? always tomorrow...
tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life... what does that mean??????? it's the stupidest thing i ever heard. is that supposed to motivate me? is that the flag-bearer of a new and rosy dawn? grrrr!
"blackbirds singing in the dead of night... take these broken wings and learn to fly! all your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arrive! ... you were only waiting for this moment to be free!" the beatles gave me soul-words.

London, baby!!!

went to London recently. being an Indian, you kinda expect London to be heaven, God's own little country that created the special people who ruled our country for 200 years, so then obviously you feel let down when you see the real thing. maybe it's a great place to live in, with all the fantastic stores and shows and all that history, but speaking as a tourist, it's too bloody expensive, the tube takes forever to get you from A to B, there are no good information booths or free maps available, tourist attractions are hard to find, and you pretty much proceed on gut-feel cos no britisher has the time to talk to you. there's nothing to beat the Paris or Rome experience. we finally succumbed and took the open-bus tour to find everything. have to say though that after the bus tour, we atleast knew where everything was!

had a grand time exploring Westminster Abbey with their verger-guided tour, which took us to parts of the Abbey that aren't open to the general public. that was really awesome. also awesome - finding lord byron's stone in the abbey!!! after all that hullaballoo, there he was, neatly marked in the poet's corner! there is no leveller like time...

london eye was supposed to be a grand spectacle - turned out to be a huge ride that wasn't even fast! didn't get a good view cos it was quite overcast. guess London doesn't show her best side to visitors in October...





i guess Madame Tussaud's is worth a mention too. realized lifelong dream of meeting the fab four! also gave the big B a lil kiss in the bargain... :)




guess London takes time to open up, just like the people who live there... suspending judgment till i get a chance to live there for some time.

Wandering in Italy

my favorite place on earth (so far, atleast) has got to be Italy. we (my husband and i) went forewarned of robbers and smooth talkers, but didn't experience any problems at all, and in fact had the time of our lives in this beautiful country. the Arno, the pigeons of Venice, the colossal grandeur of Rome - it's unforgettable, once-in-a-lifetime stuff!!!

for most people, Venice is about the gondolas, the canals and the glassware. we did all that, but surprisingly, ended up having the most fun feeding the pigeons!

for me, Florence is all about the walk by the side of the river Arno in the evening. the photos show what i saw, no editing. i'm no great photographer, so i guess my eyes saw much more.

pehla padaav

i'd written a diary for years, and then one day i just stopped. lots of reasons. craving it again now though - love the catharsis it provides, and miss expressing myself in my own space. i live an ordinary life, with no great sorrows or anything earth-shaking to write about, so this is mostly a space just for me, to relive my own little memories and, as jane austen put it, to work on my piece of ivory.