shopaholic!

this country is crazy! the markets are so fabulous, there's a product for every conceivable need under the sun. you could literally say something like - i need a motion sensing, daylight sensing light that will switch on when i pass by but not during the day, and they would ask you if you want that in white or yellow. customized goods right at your wallet-tip. in india, when you need something for a specific need, you have to see whatever is available in the market and then adapt it to your use by making some modifications. heck, i couldn't even find a wire rack to place in the wardrobe as additional removable shelving! but here, there are so many options that it's bewildering at first! and boy, does it make you go mad! it seems like i've spent the past one year just salivating and buying, buying, buying, until i'm numb! but now i think it's beginning to settle down a little. most of the things i needed around the house are here. i still do keep getting tempted by new stuff, but now it's down to space vs. need ratio, so lot of the superfluous gets weeded out. i feel i don't have anything else to do, i'm getting bored so i keep rearranging the furniture and buying more stuff for the house. once my baby is in school/playschool, i can start working again and i won't have the time to bother with all this stuff. one can always hope! :)

expectations

sometimes it's hard to live up to your estimation of others' expectations from you. when you're in school or college, you have so much potential... or at least people think you do. so that when you're at home, not working, maybe looking after kids, you feel the weight of their collective disappointment in what you made of your life. when did it become so taboo to be unemployed? liberation is about the freedom to make choices, not the enforcement of one set of choices as opposed to another. being forced to work is as bad as being forced to stay at home. but then, nobody's forcing you for anything, it's just the voices in your head judging you. maybe they will eventually help you get out of inertia when it's time, but for now, they're a pain in the nether area!

nice weekend

met so many friends this past weekend. one thing after another, and hubby's birthday thrown in between just for fun! :) sighhhh wish every weekend could be so exciting! love you guys!

weird day

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times... hubby's birthday, but emotionally a day full of upheavals. one of the bloggers i read regularly recently had a baby, lots of problems, and even though i had never met her, i found myself crying my eyes out. i am still worrying for her and can't get over it at all. is this what being a mother does to you, or am i being unduly sensitive? sayesha, my love goes out to you!

tough times

it is so difficult, ever since i became a mother, to see or hear about any child in any kind of pain. i didn't understand what it's like to see a child suffer, until i had a child of my own, because i just didn't know how a child is loved until i did it myself. 

being a woman

the older i grow, the more i notice the differences between men and women. women are mothers - whether we are daughters or sisters or wives or mothers or grandmothers, we do a lot of mothering in any relationship with a man. whereas for each other, we don't automatically go into mother mode. i think we get the short end of the stick... men get to be babies all their lives and we get to do all the work. :P